Anti-social networking phenomenon

Geek chic: Heidi Costello is the online editor at Tweed Daily News.

Blainey Woodham

Poll

Does a virtual 'defriending' mean the friendship is void?

This poll ended on 09 April 2010.

Yes

30%

No

23%

It depends

46%

This is not a scientific poll. The results reflect only the opinions of those who chose to participate.

[OPINION]: LATELY I’m beginning to notice an increase in what I like to call anti-social networking. By which I mean anti-social behaviour on social networking sites.

For example, in the past few months I’ve noticed a couple of cousins and some school friends have apparently decided to do major chops in the friends lists, and I no longer make the cut. In other words, I got ‘defriended’.

So what does that mean? If we aren’t friends on Facebook, are we also no longer friends in real life? Does that give me the right to completely ignore those people at my school reunion later this year or at the next family gathering? That actually sounds pretty convenient because those things can get nuts with all the people you have to say hello to and have a chat with. Maybe I can take a list of people I don’t have to talk to? Does the old adage about being able to choose your friends, not your family still apply if a family member severs the ties on Facebook?

Earlier this year there was a lot in the news about Evolutionary Anthropology Professor Robin Dunbar’s research indicating that the human brain is only capable of managing a maximum of 150 friendships.

I have a lot more than 150 ‘friends’ but a lot of them, I haven’t seen in years. Yes, in some cases this does mean that I barely know them, but in a lot of cases I love just being able to get a glimpse of where they are and what they are up to.

When you first join a social networking site, it’s all new and fresh. It’s exciting to see everyone from your past and have a sticky beak at where they are. You can feel good about yourself when you notice that the popular girl from school is now working as a checkout chick or you can feel jealous when you realise that the other popular girl is now somewhat famous.

As we clock up more time on site though, do we get to the point where we don’t care any more? Do we perhaps crave going back to not caring about those people? I, for one, have to wonder what I’m going to talk to everyone at my school reunion about. Most of them already know what I’m doing. What’s the point?

So is there a criterion for “defriending”? Are Facebook friends like clothes? They say that if you haven’t worn an item of clothing in a year you should throw it away or give it to charity. Is there an unwritten rule that you can delete people when you haven’t interacted with them for a year?

I now have a rule that I don’t “defriend” anyone. I know how it feels. There was one person I desperately wanted to delete from my friends list, but I stayed strong and not too much later, he deleted me. He did the dirty work for me, so I don’t look bad. It was a good feeling.

Does a virtual ‘defriending’ mean the friendship is void? Leave me a comment below.